This Is Your Life... Are You Who You Want To Be?

Now that I'm in a slightly better state-of-mind, it's time for my end of the summer analysis. So here is an overview of what I learned this summer...

1. Even though I am changing, everything else isn't necessarily changing with me. -- School was so bizarre today. I felt like there was this wall between me and almost everyone else there. This is probably due to the fact that I haven't seen anyone from school this summer except RGar. I've changed a lot over the past year or so, but I've also changed a lot this summer. I didn't know what to say to anyone or what to talk about. No one there knows about or shares my new found interest in Sweden, Miyazaki, The Hush Sound, understanding people, missions, Firefly, understanding cultures, traveling, good cheese, blogging, photography, Wilco, scrabble, exploring Pittsburgh, nerdyness in general, sharing ideas, movies, indie music, etc.... I don't really know how to mesh the two sides. I think adjusting over the next few weeks is going to be a challenge, one that I'm not entirely sure I'm ready to handle. Despite my worries about all of this, I can still rest in the promise that, no matter how separate I feel from everyone else, nothing can separate me from Christ's love (Rom. 8:38-39).

2. I need to take more chances and talk to people! -- This is something I've been thinking about over the past week. I realized that I knew absolutely nothing about Mrs. Balderose or Eric's family in general and we traveled across the world together! She sounds like such an amazing woman and I really regret passing up the many opportunities I had to talk to her. There are so many people out there ready and willing to share stories and experiences that I know I would love to hear, I just don't open up the opportunity. Opening up to people I don't know is something that doesn't come naturally to me, but I'm determined to try! It's funny because I love listening/talking to people and sharing ideas but I have such trouble starting simple conversation with other people! Plus, talking to people is one of the most fundamental ways to share Christ's love with them! The most exciting part is that you don't know what will happen. Who knows what you might be able to learn or share?

3. I have a passion for missions. -- This statement still seems so crazy to me. I never considered myself someone that was interested in missions. I always felt like it wasn't my gift and that I would be content with a much more passive role in the Kingdom. I don't feel that way anymore. I realized (thanks to the counsel of many friends) that all of the things I'm passionate about are missions related {adoption, youth ministry/missions, etc.}. The Lord worked in my life over the past year and took away so many of my fears about traveling, being away from family, and inadequacy to serve. I know that he did this to prepare me for the trip to Sweden. I was able to serve uninhibited and unafraid. It was so eye-opening to me. I realized that I can do it and I want to do it. I still don't feel called to serve as a full time missionary, but a strong desire to serve in short term missions remains. I'd love to intern somewhere for a few months or even go somewhere for a year or two after I'm married. Going to Sweden also sparked my interest in traveling. There are so many interesting places I want to go. And think of how many people I could meet that share a common bond with me in Christ! This is the perfect example of how much greater God's plans are than ours! "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."-Jer. 29:11

4. The importance of community. -- I think pretty much everyone on Team Sweden learned about this during our trip. The bond within the church at Sweden was incredible. The consistency and accountability within the church was so strong. They were such a witness and encouragement to me and everyone else. Now more than ever I'm longing for community. My whole "community" of friends is physically gone and I think that's why I'm having such a hard time. I established myself within a strong community of friends during the summer that is no longer there. Of course I still have my friends but not in the same way that I did. But this is making me so incredibly thankful for the time I have with them! It's like the song " Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you got till it's gone".

5. I really truly am a nerd. -- This doesn't really need an explanation.

6. Being spontaneous and crazy can be wonderful. -- Running in the rain, trying exotic foods, randomly going to Eat n Park at midnight, tubing, dying my hair red, watching movies late at night, sailing with R as the captain, ... all thing I did this summer that I probably would not have done a year or two ago.

7. I need to memorize more scripture. -- The kids in Sweden had huge passages memorized...in English, their 2nd language! I barely have any memorized in my 1st language, let along my 2nd!

8. Details don't always matter. -- Basically I learned that I wasted a lot of time trying to perfectly pack and prepare for Sweden. RGar was perfectly fine without her luggage.

That's all I can think of for the moment. But I'll talk about the title. Those words have repeated in my head sooo many times over the past year. I think it's a really simply stated, but very powerful reminder. You only have one life and this is it. Be the person you want to be. Be the person God is calling you to be.

"But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him. For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. To the one we are the smell of death; to the other, the fragrance of life. And who is equal to such a task? Unlike so many, we do not peddle the word of God for profit. On the contrary, in Christ we speak before God with sincerity, like men sent from God." -- 2 Cor. 2:14-17